Step 1: Know Thyself
To cultivate a healthy couple relationship, it is essential to embark on a journey of self-discovery. Before looking for a partner, develop a deep understanding and acceptance of yourself. It is a lot easier to attract the right partner when we know who we are, what we need, what’s good for us and what we don’t want.
Step 2: Love Yourself Unapologetically
Healthy couple relationships thrive when both partners have a strong sense of self-worth and self-love. It’s important to learn to set boundaries and respect oneself. Learning to say no, cultivating meaningful friendships, and engaging in activities that bring you joy contribute to your overall well-being and allow you to bring your authentic self to the relationship.
Step 3: Learn to Be Alone and Happy
Being comfortable with your own company is vital for the health of a couple relationship. Dedicate time to pursue your passions, cultivate interests, and develop a spiritual practice that fosters self-connection. Embracing solitude allows for personal growth and nourishes the ability to be fully present with your partner when you come together.
Step 4: Be Really Honest with Yourself
Honesty is the foundation of a thriving couple relationship. Reflect on what truly works and doesn't work for you in a relationship. Explore your ideal vision of a partnership and commit to your truth. Avoid settling for a relationship that doesn't align with your values out of fear of being alone.
Step 5: Learn to Communicate Safely
Communicate your feelings, your needs from a place of connection. Don’t blame the other. Listen actively to understand your partner. Take responsibility for how you feel and for what you do. In my practice I teach the Safe Conversations method to couples. They learn to talk without criticism, listen without judgement and connect beyond differences.
Step 6: Date Someone Aligned with Your Values
When entering a relationship, it is crucial to ensure compatibility and shared values. Communication needs to be open and honest from the beginning. Clearly express what you are looking for in a partner and avoid wasting time on relationships that do not align with your vision and values.
Step 7: Your Relationship is Yours
It’s not supposed to “look” or “be” anything. Successful couples negotiate and make agreements. Revisit and modify these agreements as needed, while respecting the commitment made. Discuss and plan important aspects of life together, such as living arrangements, having children or pets, and integrating with family.
Step 8: A Couple is Not a Big Blob
Maintain personal interests, friendships and a sense of self outside of the relationship. Allow each other the time and space to pursue individual passions, fostering personal growth and a richer connection when you come together.
Step 9: Keep the Flame Alive
Intimacy is key for the long-term vitality of a couple relationship. Spending time apart is as important as having regular date nights and exploring new activities together. Avoid taking your partner for granted and continually express gratitude and appreciation for their presence in your life.
Step 10: Sex is not just exercise
Learn to have a conscious and intimate connection during sexual encounters. Take the time to explore each other's bodies and embrace eye contact and breathing practices. Cultivate a deep understanding of your own and your partner's pleasure, ensuring a fulfilling and intimate sexual relationship.
Embrace Conscious Uncoupling if Necessary
Not all couple relationships are meant to last a lifetime. If the relationship no longer serves the growth and well-being of both partners, conscious uncoupling is a healthy and respectful choice. Approach separation with love and gratitude for the shared journey, honoring the growth and experiences you had together.
I don’t know about you, but nobody taught me anything about relationships and I’ve had to learn everything the hard way. All good, however, if you want to start working on yourself to avoid a few issues, I invite you to join the transformational retreat I’m hosting in only 4 weeks near Santarém. I’m so excited to share with you everything I’ve learned!
For more information contact Therapy Sweet Therapy on +34 659 126 877.
See you there!